Thailand Investigations Blog
Do You Want to Know the Truth?

We’ve been in this business a long time, and more often than not, most of the cases we deal with have something to do with some form of dishonesty and lying, with manipulation thrown in-between. Naturally, the bulk of the blame lies with the liar himself or herself, but there are things YOU can do yourself to make sure that you do not become a victim. These kinds of people are very clever and very persuasive and very practiced at their craft of deceitfulness and lying. Chances are, they won’t be changing their habits anytime soon, no matter what you do, so best think of ways to help yourself and change things yourself.

Are you in a relationship with a liar? Here are some tips that you might want to take into consideration if you find yourself faced with the prospect of a lying partner.

Remember that You Teach People How to Treat You
You’ve got to have your eyes wide open. See people for who they are, not who you want them to be. Don’t teach somebody that they can get away with lying to you.

You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge
You have to be honest with yourself about whether somebody is abusing you, using you or misrepresenting things to you.

Be Real with Yourself and Your Partner
If you lie to yourself, you’re the filter. You’re the way the world gets to see you, so if you’re distorting, then you’re totally lost.

Be as Forthcoming as You Can Be Before You Enter into a Commitment
If something is not right about you “you think you’ve got a bad trait or characteristic” it’s going to come out eventually. You might as well be honest from the beginning.

Hear Your Partner
Listen to what your mate is saying. Don’t hear what you want to hear. Sometimes they won’t actually tell you, but I believe humans are always keen to what the truth is, except that many times, we choose to deceive ourselves and believe what we want to believe.

Ask Yourself if You’re Willing to Settle for What You’re Doing
Are you happy with the circumstances you’re in? If not, demand the truth from others and yourself.

That last point is particularly important and we want to stress that. DEMAND THE TRUTH FROM OTHERS. We are finders of that truth because we believe that you and our clients deserve that truth. More often than we like the truth is painful, but in the long run it does set one free, as the old saying goes. But if you do not believe that yourself, then you are digging your own grave, so to speak. You deserve the truth, whether from a business partner, a romantic interest, or even the lowliest employee or farthest associate. It is not even something you should demand – it is simple human courtesy to extend honesty to people. There are exceptions, of course, as there are with all things, but in general, honesty should and is not only the best policy, but should be the ONLY policy. You deserve nothing less.

For the longest time, we’ve been espousing the principle that it is ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes being safe can cost you, but on the other hand, being sorry ALWAYS costs you more, in more than just the obvious aspects. So it is important to always be on the lookout for signs that something is wrong, and take the necessary steps to make you safe – and not sorry.

Here are some instances when it really IS better to be safe than sorry:

1. You suspect that your partner is cheating.
Barring a traumatic past relationship, people want to trust their partners. So if you keep having that nagging feeling that he’s cheating, it’s better to look into the possibility than to turn a blind eye. Hopefully, your worry is unfounded. But, unfortunately a lot of people who suspect their partners of cheating really did have something to worry about. Consider the words of Ronald Reagan when discussing his relationship with the Soviet Union: “Trust. But verify.”

2. You see a mean streak in your partner.
No matter how nice your partner is to you right now, his true colors will shine through eventually. And remember, assertive is quite different from aggressive. Don’t mess with a nasty temper. It will always come back to haunt you.

3. Your partner makes you suspicious.
While somewhat related to the first point, suspicion covers a whole lot of other possibilities. The thing with suspicion is that it eats you up. It starts small and innocently enough, and as long as it continues to be cultivated, just grows and grows. Gradually your imagination gets the best of you, and some people become very paranoid about it. Quarrels often result from these suspicions – because you really cannot confront a person with no hard evidence, if they really are doing something wrong, they’ll just deny it. It’s a never-ending cycle of anxiety.

4. Signs of manipulative behaviour
We’ve talked at length about the kinds of manipulative behaviour people use to take advantage of others, but many people still continue to allow themselves to be played and used as puppets in the hope that their suspicions may be wrong. But manipulation is actually a much bigger problem than dishonesty as oftentimes, this is consciously done one person to another – making it intentional and thereby implying that there are hidden motivations and reasons behind it; reasons that are usually unpleasant.

Most of the time, it’s best to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. But when you encounter a cheating heart, a bad temper, or feelings of anxiety, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

So if you think something is going on that isn’t necessarily good, give us a call and we’ll look into it. Finding out the truth is our business – we have the skills, the experience, and the technology to get you the results you need. Spare yourself all those sleepless nights spent wondering if this or that is happening. Don’t let suspicion eat you up and consume you – you deserve the peace of mind that knowing the real truth can give.

You can’t control your partner’s behavior, but you don’t have to set yourself up to get hurt either. Inoculate yourself against infidelity by making sure you’re attentive, involved and plugged in to your relationship. Making your relationship ‘affair-proof’ is the key.

Do you suspect your partner is having an affair or being dishonest or disloyal to you? Remember that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Look for the common sense warning signs: A shift in patterns, accessibility, money, reliability and secrecy. A sudden great interest in grooming or dress, going to the gym, or putting on cologne. Also, remember not to accuse your partner because of unhealthy jealousy, which could hurt the trust.

If you are having problems, the first step is to turn toward your partner, not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. All that does is create problems. Don’t play games in your head. It is a short step from thought to action. Don’t confuse reality with fantasy. We often forget that there’s a difference between falling in love and being in love. You can’t expect a love that grows to be like it was on the first date. If you want to have a good partner, be a good partner. Put 100 percent into your relationship.

Your relationship has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your partner’s needs are so you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate. Don’t let resentment build.

Most importantly, your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they’re interested in together. Don’t stop being friends just because you’re each other’s partner. And trust. Do not ever forget trust, which is integral to the success of any kind of relationship, be it personal or professional. No relationship with thrive or grow when trust is not present.

Which is why we always recommend that people run background checks on other people they expect to become a bigger part of their lives. It doesn’t have to be something really serious – as long as it’s someone you’ll allow into your life in a way and to a degree that’s significant for that person to take advantage of you in any way, you should always make sure that you’re not inviting trouble by letting the wrong kind of people into your life.

Discrete, efficient and cost-effective. That’s the kind of service that Thailand Private Investigations provides. And we’re trustworthy. We’ve been in the investigations business for many years, and our impeccable reputation speaks for itself. We’re all about giving what clients need, not just in the case itself, but also outside of it – this blog is an example of our commitment to educate people in the different aspects of relationships and the complications it can lead to if they’re not careful.

(part 2)
Can recycling an ex be a genuine investment that could turn into something by giving the relationship another chance? If you’re thinking about recycling romance, take these things into consideration:

• Why did things end in the first place?
• Were there issues that could not be overcome? Religious differences? Substance or alcohol abuse? Was your ex reliable? Or was there a track record of flaking out at the last minute, or being rude to your friends?
• A huge part of successful relationships are about willingness for both parties to meet halfway, and work out issues together. If an ex didn’t do that the first time around, will things really be that different once you dig back into the recycling bin for another try?
• Are your needs being into taken into consideration?
• Is the behavior displayed giving you bad déjà vu? If that’s the case, chances are that things may not be different when you try to make it work again.

Lay out what you want specifically from your recycled object: You have nothing to lose from being vocal about what you want out of a recycling situation. It’s the been there, done that, mentality. You know what to expect, but there’s always room for surprise.

The relationship already ended, so be upfront and honest. Be specific about what you’re looking for. If it’s a fun night out with no strings attached go for it. If you are looking for something more, or something that was lacking the first time around, make that known. If you don’t ask…you won’t know the answer. Save yourself time and energy. Be aggressive and confident on what you want from your recyclables.

Being cheated on by a person you love and trust is incredibly hurtful. When you are cheated on it impacts the core of how you interact with people. Infidelity makes raw nerves of things like trust, self respect, self worth and ego identity. People who have been cheated on often have difficulty trusting again. They either avoid relationships altogether or become detached serial-daters. People who have been cheated on are afraid of being hurt again.

But, people can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual. The reasons the cheater gives for their past infidelity can help determine if they really want to change or if they might do it again.

That being said though, no one should have to feel forced to try and make things work. If it feels like a chore and a burden, that’s when it’s time to get out the blue bags and throw the cans out, call the Salvation Army to pick up that bag of clothes…because once you do that, you’re opening more space, physically and emotionally, to go after the kind of relationship that you truly want and deserve. Remember one person’s “trash” is another’s treasure… you just have to be ready to let it go, and move things forward by parting with those recyclable items you no longer need in your closet, or heart.

(Part 1)
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! Sure it’s great to help out the environment by recycling paper, plastic, etc., but when it comes to matters of the heart and peace of mind – it may not always be the best idea. It’s easy to turn to recycling when you need to reuse an old outfit, shopping bag, or bottle…but when you delve into the dating bin of exes for “reuse” when thing…

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! Sure it’s great to help out the environment by recycling paper, plastic, etc., but when it comes to matters of the heart and peace of mind – it may not always be the best idea.
It’s easy to turn to recycling when you need to reuse an old outfit, shopping bag, or bottle…but when you delve into the dating bin of exes for “reuse” when things get a little stagnant in your love life, that’s where problems from the past may resurface.

Everyone’s done it, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s like digging that old pair of boots out from the back of your closet that you just can’t bear to part with. Sure they were great when you first got them; they might even feel comfortable when you slip them on after a long break. Then things start happening that remind you of why you put them away to begin with. They could be a little musty and almost worn out – they may even be bad for your arches and give you blisters – but you keep going back to them, even though the next day your feet may hurt more than it was worth it to begin with.

When a “recycled” ex – good or maybe bad – re-enters your orbit, and there are still feelings involved from either party, it’s important to take into consideration whether the situation is worth dusting off and giving it a second chance, or whether you should walk away from something that is no longer worth reusing over and over again.

Especially when cheating is involved, ask yourself if it’s worth another shot. Sure, there were some – even A LOT – of good moments there, but think about trust issues. Trust is a big thing. No matter how long the relationship was, if you plan on getting into someone again, you have to have at least some measure of trust towards the other party. Otherwise, you are simply setting yourself up for a potentially very risky encounter.

Who do you trust? How do you trust? Should you trust? We answer these questions and more when we take on a case. It’s important to know all about the other person before you plunge into something. You might be thinking even, that it’s just a short ‘thing’, but anything can happen. Never underestimate the ways you can be taken advantage of. We’re all about finding the truth of things so you can have the peace of mind that you deserve.

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We’ll talk more about recycled relationships and romances in our next post. Stay tuned!

When it comes to relationships, people generally say honesty is the best policy. And it turns out, people are right. Honesty is especially good for the lazy among us, because science now shows us that keeping secrets is hard work.
A new study conducted at Tufts University shows that keeping a secret can feel physically burdensome. In the study, people were asked to remember a secret they were told and then to estimate how steep a hill was or how far a distance was. People who remembered meaningful secrets estimated the hills to be steeper and the distances to be longer.

The study also looked specifically at the burdensome secret of infidelity. People who’d recently been unfaithful to their partners were asked to rate how much their infidelity bothered them, and then to evaluate the effort it took to complete tasks like carrying groceries and walking a dog. People whose infidelity bothered them more were also more likely to think the everyday task required more effort. People whose infidelity didn’t bother them are heartless jerks, said blogger Gena Kaufman, who is in no way affiliated with this study.

It’s interesting that keeping other people’s secrets and keeping a secret about your own indiscretion have the same effect. I can understand feeling weighed down by the guilt of infidelity, but feeling physically burdened by keeping a friend’s secret? No wonder women confess to telling most secrets within 32 minutes. Relationships are enough work without feeling like you’re lugging a 50 pound suitcase up Mount Everest.

Whether you are entering a personal relationship with someone or engaging in a business or professional partnership, it is essential that you know from the get go if the particular person you are getting into a relationship with is worth your trust.

One of the best things you can do to ensure that you are going into a relationship where at the very least you can trust the other person – whether in a business or personal relationship – is to have a background check done. This way, you can avoid unpleasant surprises that are brought about by the person’s past. You’ll also be able to make a more informed decision if entering into a relationship with a particular person is a wise thing to do. I cannot tell you enough about how many clients I had who could have avoided a lot of trouble, financial loss and emotional pain if they only had a background check done.

You never know what a simple background check can provide. You can gain insight on the kind of personality, business history and professional savvy of another person. You’ll know whether to take a calculated risk and enter into a profitable relationship or to stay away. It’s never wrong to make sure that you’re doing the right thing and entering into a god relationship. So don’t be afraid to get a background check done on somebody. Please do contact us if you have something in mind – please trust that we will be very discrete and keep all the details and particulars of your case in the strictest confidence.

Why do people stay in bad relationships? Here are a few factors that affect why people choose to stay in bad relationships.

1. They feel that their biological clock is ticking.
There are people who really want children. So the idea of starting over close to child bearing age invokes feelings of desperation. They may feel that leaving the relationship, no matter how bad, robs them of the opportunity to have children.

2. Their lack of self-esteem causes them to “settle.”
Nothing erodes self-esteem quicker than an unhealthy relationship. Many people remain in dysfunctional relationships because they are convinced that this is all they deserve. When bad things happen, they simply grit their teeth and tell themselves that they should be grateful for what they have.

3. They don’t want to disrupt their status quo.
For people who have become accustomed to the relationship, it can be a difficult habit to break. Their professional and/or social circles might look unfavorably upon those living the single life. Their families and friends may stress that having a relationship is the only path to happiness. Whatever the case, the desire to maintain the present lifestyle can be a powerful deterrent to any person considering a separation.

4. They don’t have a reference for a healthy relationship.
Some people in dysfunctional relationships are simply re-enacting the dysfunction that they experienced throughout their lifespan. Many people have no healthy relationship models to draw from leaving them powerless to know that they can do better.

5. Separation seems worse than the bad relationship.
When people get to this point, their thinking has really gone askew. Irrational fears and negative future fantasies can distort a person’s perceptions keeping them stuck in an unhealthy relationship. Using rationalization and denial, people can convince themselves that their situation isn’t really “that bad” and end up staying too long.

6. They lack the skills to restart their lives and move on.
Many people simply don’t know how to leave their relationship and go after the life that they deserve. Starting a new life can feel daunting. Without the proper education and tools it is impossible for a person to envision themselves beyond their current situation.

7. They fear the misery of being single.
Although many equate the single life with being unhappy and alone, this is quite often not the case. The merits of relationship and the merits of remaining single must be weighed on an individual and ongoing basis.

8. They remain committed to their commitment.
A commitment should always be placed in context. The world in which we live is far from black and white. A person who remain committed despite high levels of pain and suffering should ask themselves precisely for what they remain committed.

As always, before any sort of commitment, it is important to always make sure that the person you are spending time with is worthy and deserving of that time, effort, and resources. A simple background check usually does the trick, and it will save you a lot of grief in the future as well as give you the peace of mind that you want. Contact us for more details.

Having a business is a good thing. It can give you good profits and a good passive income, if you’re doing it on top of having another source of livelihood. While the rewards can be great, there are challenges as well, primary of which is keeping business data and information safe from people who might want to take advantage of it.

Let me tell you a short story – one of our clients, who runs a successful outsourcing business here in Thailand had just discovered that one of his executives was diverting money away from the company’s earnings and into personal accounts. While the business survived, he lost tens of thousands of dollars to a thief.

This would not have happened if he had a simple computer monitoring system in his operations. Since the company was relatively small and just starting out, security was at best, cursory. He did not see the possibility of being stolen from from within his own company.

When you think about it, it really does not take a lot to infiltrate a company, really. Even electronically and digitally. A recent study by security experts say that a majority of companies around the world are not conscious of their internal security protocols to keep sensitive data safe, which makes it very easy for anyone with a specific set of skills to take advantage of. May it be financial information, marketing, and creative leads, and intellectual property – there is a lot at stake. One client we had approached us because they were having problems with people selling certain inside information about the company, which were making them lose millions of dollars’ worth of sales. They wanted an investigation done discreetly to find out what exactly was happening in the company and who were the culprits behind the whole scheme.

Of course, it was our computer monitoring system that put us on the right track, and we were able to trace who was involved, both in and out of the said business. One of the reasons why we were hired to assist in this problem was that since the incident involved information of a sensitive nature – at least to the company involved, we were counted on to be very discreet in the way we proceeded with the case. While a full blown investigation by company would have alerted the culprit and thus made it more difficult for us to find out who it was, a more discreet and quiet approach allowed us to capture perpetrator red handed, leaving no room for doubts and or excuses.

It is very important for any business to guard their information well, as misplaced sensitive information can be devastating to a company. In the hands of a person with the right skills, these data can be used to drive a business to the ground – to their profit, naturally. Which is why it is important for every business to take concrete steps to ensure that their computer systems are properly secured and protected.

With our computer monitoring software installed, you are always informed of what’s happening in your system. You are always appraised of how your employees are doing, and WHAT they’re doing. This software will help alert you if there is anything fishy going on, and you can catch the culprit red-handed while you’re at it.

Many of our clients are people above their 30’s and 40’s. They’re successful career individuals who sometimes have a family in the country they originate from, a majority of whom are already divorced or separated from ex-wives and partners, some are single and come to Thailand not only to work and further his career, but also in the hope that they will find a long, solid and lasting relationship here.
Now, there is nothing wrong with that. I do not believe in stereotypes, and I think that there are many Thai ladies out there just waiting to be wooed and won over who will stay with you and take care of you until your dying breath. But like in all things, it isn’t really that simple. It takes work and effort. Here are a few pointers that might help you out:

1. Step outside your comfort zone and get involved in different things. If you don’t know where to start, volunteer in your own town (at fundraisers, park clean-up days, church food drives, etc.). You may meet an empathetic sweetie — or at least make a new friend who will widen your social circle to include more class acts. Or maybe try joining a local sports club or a local hobbyist organization where you might meet someone who shares your interests.

2. Always put your opinions out there when you’re at an event that encourages conversation, even if you’re afraid the other person won’t agree. You may find out you share the exact same sensibilities. Even if you don’t, though, you’ll get to know each other quickly and learn rapidly whether he or she is a good listener — or the dreaded talk-over-you type.

3. Visiting new places gives you a new perspective on life and can even make you feel more confident, because you’re removed from your normal routine and stresses. Even a quick weekend jaunt with a group of friends or a solo trip to a music or arts festival can help jump-start your romantic life. And even if you don’t meet someone special, it gives you a great opportunity to try out your flirting skills away from prying eyes.

4. Well, first, a caveat: in some workplaces, office romances are a real no-no — so check your company guidelines before getting your flirt on. Now, even if there are no prospective dates in your office or you just don’t want to get involved with a colleague, consider your office mates to be an untapped social network. Plan to RSVP “yes” on invites for everything from retirement parties to happy hours — after all, you never know who will tag along with one of your coworkers that also happens to be single.

As long as you keep your mind open and always make sure that your potential partners check out and hold out under scrutiny – scrutiny which we will gladly provide for you – finding love and staying in a relationship is something that is well within your reach.

Why do you think that there are so many victimizers and scammers and thieves out there? Is it just greed? Or is it the lack of viable opportunities? Probably, but there is a simple fact, a simple reason why things like this continue to persist, regardless of the number of people who get caught or how strict the laws are – people are careless.

A commenter on a previous post raised an interesting point – that there are just so many people that are so cavalier and so careless about doing business that they only see the problem when it’s too late to do anything about it. Many people let themselves be swept away by the rush of engaging in a business that is seen to be potentially very profitable, and then they go in eyes closed and just hope for the best. Let me tell you now that this isn’t a very helpful business practice.

I’ve been talking about business these past few days because of a sudden influx of clients who have been, simply put, scammed out of their money. Many of them were even too embarrassed initially to seek help because their background – bankers, finance workers, auditors and even a stock exchange broker – should have warned them about the risks and shady nature of the deals they were participating in. Some though, are just simple people who got snared into investing into a bad deal – or two. And when you think about it, it’s really just something that you can chalk down to plain old carelessness.

What many people need to realize is that when it comes to business, nothing beats hard, honest, and solid work. You put in the appropriate hours and money to make a business work. It’s unheard of to have a low maintenance business that gets you a lot of money and profit from the get go. It’s something we’d all like to have, but it simply isn’t possible. Even this PI business we have here didn’t catch on immediately. We had our own set of birth pains and troubles to get to where we are and establish the reputation as we’ve done through the years. And that’s even considering that Michel Mauquoi, who founded the company, had VERY EXTENSIVE experience in the police force in Belgium before Thailand Private Investigations was established.

Running a business isn’t easy. Funding a business is no easy matter as well. So make sure that you start your business on the right foot. Make background checks and have investigations done on people you will be doing business with and ascertain if any investment you plan on entering will be a safe one. Don’t put your faith on predictions and superstitions. Mark our words – we’ve seen more than our share of victims of all sorts of business fraud to know that the main fault of these victims is really the lack of preparation and safety measures to ensure that their business endeavors are on solid footing. Many get sucked in by promises of big profits and so on, and in their excitement, they forget to have things checked out before they start shelling out money.