The other side of the coin
Last week, I talked about cheating girlfriends and wives and how it feels to get scammed and fooled. But of course there’s the other side of the coin, where
poor women slave away for their husbands, dedicating their whole lives to him, and finding out that she’s just one of the many, many women in her beloved’s life.
Being with a foreigner has its disadvantages, despite what some might think. Of course, there is some sort of financial gain, but this is not always the case. I think that the first hurdle to these sort of relationships is the stigma and discrimination these women face from other people. It is not uncommon for her fellow Thais and other foreigners to assume that she is some sort of prostitute, or has some dark and shady past, regardless of her educational attainment or respectable upbringing. And regardless of her intention to marry or be in a relationship for love, people will most often assume the worst.
Another problem for them to face is the cultural difference and even language barrier between her and her spouse. Of course, her husband expects her adapt his customs, not the other way around, and that is not always easy for the girl. Left unchecked, this may lead to misunderstandings and arguments, and in extreme cases, even physical violence, between the two of them where the girl is left losing everything.
So you can only imagine the anguish of a woman who sacrifices everything only to find out that her husband isn’t the gentleman he professes himself to be. He may have started out wooing her with flowers and pretty word and expensive gifts, and the girl naturally starts to think that, “Hey, this guy seems to be sincere.” She looks up to him, she gives everything. But all that sunshine and flowers she imagined her life to be suddenly turns to a nightmare when she is left by her man. Society has little sympathy for her, and most unfairly will consider her “damaged goods.”
So it is paramount that women also have background checks performed on the men they want to commit to. A lot of women find out too late that their husbands are cheating philanderers only too late, and cannot do anything, as they have already invested too much of themselves and their life for the man. They become like glorified sex slaves, subject to the whim of their husband or partner. It is not a pretty picture.
So why be afraid to have a man checked out? For all you know, he likes to beat his partners or he has a successful criminal career. Or maybe if you say yes, you’ll be his 96th girlfriend. Or maybe he has some sort of disease he doesn’t tell anybody about. Of course, I’m just throwing out possibilities here; the point being that YOU NEVER KNOW.
And IT PAYS TO KNOW. Because respectable women do not deserve to be fooled or beaten or cheated on or treated like another notch on the bed post. They deserve, just like men, to be reciprocated for their sincerity, loyalty and dedication.
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Tags: Background Checks, Cheating, Cheating husband, cultural difference, Farang, foreigners, Infidelity, language barrier, Thailand, thais
October 10th, 2008 at 22:55
I’ve just read your post and I’m relieved to know that you also consider men who cheat rather than just the women. I really agree that a lot of these girls suffer a lot of discrimination and unfair judgment from both their countrymen and foreigners. While I will admit that scams and girls who are just in it for the money is widespread practice here, there are also a lot of girls out there who are just really looking for someone to love and someone to love them and take care of them.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:43
Hey, mate, great blog you have here. I must say, it’s very informative, especially for someone who’s just gotten into the country like I have. I’ve been here for just about two months and a half, and I’m really just trying to get a feel for things. So far, so good, but it really helps that I’m armed with information like this. I came across this along my surfing to get the real low down here. Glad I found this, and I’ll be referring your services to my friends here as well, should the opportunity arise.
October 11th, 2008 at 12:36
Betsy: Thanks a lot for taking the time to read my post. Yes, in my line of work, I’ve had lots of cases where men were the culprits and not the women. It helps when in you’re the kind of service that I run to have an open mind so as not to cloud my judgment. I feel it’s also really unfair to the client if I become biased and fail to deliver the truth.
Richard: What you’re doing—getting as much information as you can, is the right thing to do, especially, as you said, you’re new to Thailand. Thank you for the referral. I appreciate it a lot. Please continue to visit my site as I will continue to post as much relevant information and tips as I can.