Thailand Investigations Blog
Do You Want to Know the Truth?

This is a continuation of the last post we had where we talked about putting an end to being manipulated. Many people become unwitting victims of manipulation, twisted and turned around by other people for their own ends. These hapless victims are usually left in the dust, ruined – financially or emotionally, or both – and left to fend for themselves. It is always important to understand the techniques used by manipulators so you can be better aware if you are being wiggled by unseen puppet strings.

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Lying

You will probably remember that a few posts ago, we talked about lying. For obvious reason, lying is included in a manipulator’s arsenal of “skills”. It complements their efforts and since they really do not care about anything else besides their own well-being, they will not hesitate to use lies and falsehoods whenever it suits them. You only think they care about yours because they only APPEAR to care – but when push comes to shove, they will leave you in heartbeat.

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Playing dumb and denial.

One great way of misdirection that many manipulative people employ is to act dumb. For many people, the normal attitude would be to preserve pride and always appear to know better. It’s the reverse for manipulative people. This pride is precisely what manipulators capitalize on when they try to act dumb and appear to be less knowledgeable than they really are. This way, they become less suspicious because people normally dismiss them automatically. The dismissal in turn, gives the manipulator more freedom to do what she or she wants – covertly and discreetly – because no suspicion is cast on him or her.

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In line with playing dumb is denial, which manipulators often use. Pleading to be clueless or without knowledge of anything is another classic manipulator trait. They will not admit to anything that might compromise them in any way, and will stick to that no matter what.

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Rationalization.

Rationalization is when someone offers a justification for a seemingly inappropriate mode of behaviour, pleading it to be the rational or logical course of action. Manipulators will often use this tactic to convince you to do something you are not comfortable doing, and give you supposed logical reasons why what they are proposing is the right thing to do. The goal is to make you doubt yourself and say, “Gee, I never thought of it that way before.”

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Shaming.

Shaming in public is another way manipulators use to get their way. The shaming here is not really outright, but more subtle, but direct enough that the person manipulated will understand what it means. The goal here is to make the subject feel embarrassed and inadequate so that he or she starts deferring to the manipulator, for fear of being embarrassed again. The offense on the part of the person being manipulated might be real or invented by the manipulator, but since no one likes being embarrassed, it encourages having a more passive attitude, particularly towards the shamer / manipulator, allowing the latter to be the dominant party in the relationship.

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