The Dangers of Trusting Too Much and Too Early
One of the most common pitfalls of men who get victimized by unscrupulous women is because they get easily reeled in by sob stories and other plays on their emotions. Of course, they realize only when it’s too late that all these things were just mere acts of practiced and professional liars and cheats.
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One client for example, got victimized not just by one, but by FIVE different women before he finally thought of getting a private investigator to look into the background of his latest fling. This particular client usually went into a “live-in” situation with these girls – that is to say he let them inside his home and had them live there. He said he always fell for the ones with the sob stories, and he really wanted to help them live a better life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with helping a girl out, but when you try to imagine yourself as some white knight on a horse, well, that kind of house of cards is bound to fall down sooner than you think. Needless to say, these girls robbed him slowly (so as not to arouse any suspicion and to have a steady stream of “income”) before here realized it was too late. The first four got away and haven’t been heard from since, the last one was caught red-handed and is in the custody of the local authorities.
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You may think it’s easy to NOT commit that kind of mistake, but you have no idea how many cases we get that run along the same vein. The buttons these women press differ for each man they encounter, but trust me, they know how to play men like a musical prodigy on a piano – in time you’re singing their tune as well, without any clue that you’re just being led on for a ride.
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The most important thing to do in these kinds of situations would be to use your head first before plunging in headlong into any emotional (and financial and / or material) investments with women you haven’t gotten to know for too long. It may sound overly cheesy and teenager-ish, but there really is merit to the old saying that it’s better to be friends first. Now, to make me sound completely adult, that’s only when you want a serious relationship – if you want something more casual with a lot of physical intimacy, then there’s no need for you to commit to anything big, just a couple of Baht for expenses for the day. There’s hardly a need to bring a woman home, much less trust her with the keys to it.
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Trust is nice and should be a staple in any relationship, but only when the person deserves it. And not all sob stories are true, and even if they were, that doesn’t mean the person telling them to you can be trusted. Before you use the proverbial “heart” use a bit of your head and common sense first.
February 13th, 2010 at 11:37
I hear you, I hear you, man. I really can say that I know what you’re saying is true. I’ve seen so many of my mates get reeled in by all of this bullshit from girls. No big fiascos though, but just losing something to these lowlifes is still a loss, even if you can afford it. That’s just foolish and stupid. Good thing my mates listen to me now, and they are all enjoying the benefits – safely, I hope – of the casual arrangements you mentioned. Now that’s a real practical thing to do.
February 14th, 2010 at 18:38
It is only prudent that a background check be done on women whom you want to get to know better. Not that I’m saying that all women here in Thailand are like that, but it never really hurts to be safe. You don’t lose anything having a girl checked out before you pursue something more serious; if there’s no dirt, then you got yourself some peace of mind and a greater sense of security. Trust nowadays should be earned, not simply given. I also suggest trying out a test, like putting out bait for her to steal, that sort of thing.
February 15th, 2010 at 22:44
automaton: Well, if casual arrangements work for you, then there’s really no problem with that. No problem with going steady too, as long as you start it right and use your head.
william: I agree that trust is earned. These days, you really can’t be too sure, unless you really got to know the person for awhile before you went steady. Doing a background check is a win-win situation, because if your find something, then you know she isn’t worth it, but if not, then you know you can trust her.